It’s not a big surprise to anyone who knows me and/or reads this blog that I hate flying. It makes me more anxious than anything in the world. If I have a few adult beverages, I’m usually ok. However, the most dreaded words to me, are “Flight attendants, please be seated.”
A. This means that he doesn’t even have time to get on his little “ding” intercom thing to tell them to sit down.
B. There is going to be some turbulence ahead.
So, we’re on our second leg back from Key West, the Tampa to Birmingham leg, and the captain gets on the intercom and says that hey folks, the weather in Birmingham is bad, so we’re gonna fly in some circles and see if it clears the area.
So, then he comes on again, and says that oh, we’re diverting to Jackson, Mississippi. That’s right folks. We’re diverting to Jackson, MS to “fill up.” So not only do I have to worry about the evil clouds lurking out of every window, now I have to worry about us running out of fuel . (I mean, not really, these are all delusions that I make up in my head). But if you are that scared of flights, these are thoughts that go through your mind…and then your face looks like this.
These were actually the faces we made when we found out that we were not going to be in Birmingham at 6pm, but instead head to Jackson!
So we land in Jackson. And then there’s a line a million people long to use the bathroom. I really try not to use the front bathroom, because I’m a million percent convinced that it’s smaller than the back one, BUT we were only seven rows from the front, so it didn’t make much sense to walk all the way to the back.
But then some one got baby powder everywhere in the cramped little space, so I came out with baby powder all of my shorts. The lady in front of us was also acting like this was the end of the world, and being quite loud about it, while leaving doom and gloom messages about not being able to make it to Birmingham and having to spend the night in Jackson.
Anyway, we finally take off. And guess what guys?! There’s a storm in Birmingham still. So cut to us landing, I mean almost crashing into the ground. Ever see lightning on either side of the airplane out the windows? Yeah, I did. While bouncing like a ball through the clouds. I don’t think my heart stopped beating at 190 bpm until we hit the car.
People clapped when we landed.
That has never happened to me. And although I was quite grateful for the man landing us without killing us, nobody claps at me for doing my job. Also my hands were shaking like crazy, so applause was out of the question.
Oh, and seeing the pilot handing out peanuts?
Can also cause a mini-freakout.
(just kidding, I’m sure there were two other ones in the cockpit)