I had a dance competition yesterday that, unfortunately, I did pretty poorly in. Ballroom dancing is something that I love. I love going to practice during the week, but for some reason, I feel like I am disappointing my instructor. I don’t know if competing is going to be for me anymore. I clearly don’t have the ability (like the person my instructor pointed out to me) to be good at this.
I feel like I put in so much practice time and heart into dancing, and it just isn’t paying off. I have no real dance partner to practice with, so most of the time it’s me just turning on MusicChoice to the Latin station and practicing my cha-cha and rumba by myself. Which is admittedly pretty damn difficult.
The bad thing about everything is how much I love it; and how much I think my instructor just doesn’t like me. It kind of tears at my heart strings to think of how much time and effort (not to mention, moo-lah) into learning how to dance, and I am terrible at it. I’m trying to decide now whether to continue with it, or just give up. And I hate it, because I really do love it, and don’t want to quit just because I’m “not good.” But I also don’t want to put 100% of my heart into something and have it blown off by other people.
I hate looking at this and seeing that I may end up giving it up. It really breaks my heart.
Oh well. Maybe I’ll throw all of my energy into training for that half-marathon now.