It’s been a little bit since I’ve just done a life update. And I’m going to be full-on honest, because, dammit, I want to be.
My job has been kicking my ass. It seems like I am always working. I get up, get the kid ready for daycare, make breakfast, lunches – and am at work by 7am every morning. I work through lunch, leave around 330-400, and am constantly having to check my emails through the night to make sure there’s not a major catastrophe to deal with. And then I wake up at 5, and always have a little panic attack that some crazy shit went down when I was sleeping. I check my emails on the weekend, and have to deal with anything that comes up – and I’m just tired of working.
So then of course, I feel guilty, because instead of doing something productive with the few hours I have with my child after work, I plop him in front of the TV while I finish my work. Every time I pull my laptop out at home, Sheffield goes, “mama work?” And it kills me to the point of tears. I want him to know that I want to spend all of my time with him – that he is the most important thing to me, but I feel like work is taking priority right now, and I hate that.
I always feel like I’m forgetting things – as I mentioned earlier this week. I feel like there is so much in my brain (work, gym, child, appointments, housework) that there is just no room for me to do anything. I have stayed up till 11 most nights this week (unheard of for me!) just so I can get some reading in. I have so many things I want to do (I still haven’t watched the series finale for PLL for Pete’s sake!!), but I haven’t done any of them. And my list just keeps getting longer and longer.
B and I have made a commitment to try not to drink during the week – and while that shit went out the window this week, there’s always next.
This week was Peak Week at Orange Theory: they have a different challenge for every day of the week, and then they check your progress in six months. So for the three that I went to this week, here was were I stood:
24 minute run: 2.67 miles
Body weight rep challenge (4 exercises, each for a minute long) : 78
2000 meter row: 7:32
I beat my 2000m row by almost a minute from last time I did this there, which impresses the shit out of me.
It has honestly just been a long damn month – and I’m so ready for July to be over. I was almost half joking when I told Nadine that I needed a life organizer a few weeks ago. How do you guys keep your lives so organized (and please don’t say paper planner, because I’ve tried that and I can’t keep up with that either)? Any good phone apps? Please help.
I hope y’all have a great weekend.