Life is hard.
Now I know I’m not stating anything that everyone doesn’t already know, but it really does just suck sometimes.
Work. The ever-haunting past. Home life. House problems. The continuing self-doubt. Money problems. Other people’s problems. How is someone ever supposed to cram all of this into a short 24 hour day?
It gets so exhausting. Sometimes I feel like I need to run a bath, turn on some Adele and just cry. Which is exactly what I did today. I always heard that sometimes a girl’s just gotta cry, and after today/past week, I just needed it.
It always seems that everyone knows exactly what to say to you to hurt you, whether it be a customer who tells you you’re doing a horrible job, or whether someone just simply states that, you don’t look that good today, or someone just simply moving on.
I work to live; not the other way around, although lately it seems that it’s all I’ve done. I spend so much time at work and thinking about work; it just never goes away. I constantly put myself down for how I look or how much I weigh. And that’s exhausting in itself. I get so frustrated looking in the mirror or looking at the scale, and then I get angry with myself for that. It’s an epic battle for me to accept myself the way I am. and when I say epic, I mean epic. sometimes I just think to myself, how did I end up with someone like B? he’s so handsome and great, and I feel most of the time that I don’t even measure up.
Anyway, that’s enough of the serious. I have just been in a mood lately.
|(flight from kc to st. louis. dirty windows)|
Sometimes you just want to get away.