So there is this show, Obsession. I think it’s on A&E, but I could be wrong, and usually it’s about people with unhealthy obsessions, like they pull their hair out or wash their hands 50 times a day, usually people with OCD or something like that. But it got me thinking; if they were to put me on this show, what what my obsession play out to be….
So I figured it had to be my weight. It has been something I’ve struggled with since high school, probably a little before and have been continually struggling with it. I go up and down and up and down, and I constantly compare myself to other people’s weight all the time. I don’t do it consciously, but it always seems to come into my mind. I worry about every piece of food I put in my mouth, and make sure that I work out at least 5 times a week. And I guess it’s unhealthy to think about it 24/7, and I guess it’s a little unhealthy to work out until you hurt, but it’s just something I’ve gotten used to, so it doesn’t bother me anymore. I guess it’s like those people that pull their hair out or have to count to 20 before opening the door; you just learn to live with it.
And then I thought about another obsession that I probably have; emotional shopping. I don’t eat when I’m happy, sad, angry; I shop. Even if it’s for something as little as hair smoother or bobby pins. I have been having a rough couple of weeks at work, working 11 hours a lot and being stressed out most of the time trying to find trucks for everyone. It’s funny how I can talk to someone at work, and they go through the same things at home that I do; taking out your work aggression at your significant other; going to work before and coming home after them, and just wanting to crawl into bed most nights.
So since it’s about 9 am, and I’m sure tomorrow will be just as fun as the past three weeks, I’m probably about to head off to bed for my old people bedtime.