I have always been taller than most girls — I think the growth spurt happened around fifth grade, when I first started noticing that I was always in the back row for all class pictures. That’s what they do with tall girls, don’t you know? Stand in the back so your big tall head doesn’t block any of the other classmates. And whilst standing next to a girl at work who is no taller than 5’1″, and having girls move around me at the Fitz and the Tantrums concert last Friday because they couldn’t see, I came up with a list of 10 things that you will never hear a tall girl say..
Without further ado, I bring you…
1. WOW! THIS DRESS IS THE PERFECT LENGTH!! (right, let me just turn every dress I own into a mini-skirt).
2. GEEZ, I SURE CAN’T SEE OVER THIS PERSON AT THIS “INSERT FAVORITE” CONCERT! ( as aforementioned incident, people move around me!)
3. CAN YOU GET THAT DOWN FOR ME?? ( don’t worry about it, I can get it).
4. DO THESE HEELS MAKE MY LEGS LOOK LONGER? (nope, your legs make your legs look longer).
5. YES, I’LL WEAR FLATS SO YOU DON’T FEEL SHORT. ( I embrace heels, all of them. true story: I had a dude break up with me once because I was too tall for him.)
6. I’LL JUST HIDE HERE IN THE BACK OF THIS GROUP PICTURE. (try to hide all you want honey; your tall ass is still going to be in the picture).
7. I’M TOO SHORT TO RIDE THIS RIDE!! (have never heard this — don’t ever really remember being measured to make sure it’s true).
8. WHY, YES, YES I DO KNOW IT’S RAINING BEFORE YOU. (enough with the tall jokes; I get it, I’m tall.)
9. I SURE DID MEAN TO RUN INTO THOSE AMAZINGLY LOW HANGING DECORATIONS/DOOR FRAME. (yep, sure did that on purpose).
10. PLEASE TELL ME MORE ABOUT HOW YOU’RE POSITIVE THAT I MUST HAVE BEEN A MODEL OR BASKETBALL PLAYER. (right, because the modeling industry would have no problem with my giant nose. and ALSO, just because I was on the team, doesn’t mean I played…)
So there you have it! I get it; I’m taller than most girls that I’m around, but I can also be really self conscious about it. So next time, I’m around, please ask me to get something down for you so I feel useful.
Have a great weekend everyone!