I’ve never really been one to do a word of the year — I have a hard enough time following up with the “resolutions” I make, so I figured that keeping up with a word day in and day out would be next to impossible.
But as I sat this week, sick again, I knew I needed a word to keep myself in check. The word that came immediately to my mind was grace.
Grace to allow myself to stop trying to be the perfectly sized mother society tells me I need to be. I am literally making myself sick by not eating enough and pushing myself to the brink. That is not healthy, and neither are these images floating around in my brain of what I think I’m supposed to look like.
Grace to allow myself a day off if I need it. I am a full-time worker bee with mama duties when I get home. That is exhausting as shit in case you didn’t know. So, grace to say it’s ok to pop in a movie and just cuddle with my little dude when we get home from work if I’ve had a particularly bad or long day.
Grace to allow myself to think that I’m a good mom. My baby is happy and healthy and strong. He is learning each and every day – and I don’t need to compare him to other babies timetables or other babies parents. I constantly remind myself that our parents didn’t have the ability to compare every little thing we did when we were little to other kids our age, and each and everyone of us turned out fine. If my child takes the paci until he’s three and isn’t completely potty-trained until he’s three and half, then so be it. Grace to allow myself to believe that those things are ok.
Grace to STOP comparing myself to everyone. Everyone is in a different chapter of their journey, and mine doesn’t have to match up to theirs.
I hope that I can look back on this post and remind myself of these things when I know that at some point in 2017, I’ll be down about one (or all) of these things . It is so important to me to stop stressing out about everything ALL the time, and sometimes to just calm the eff down and give myself some grace.
Happy 2017 everyone! Let’s hope it doesn’t suck as bad as 2016!