Have y’all heard of the Great Resignation taking place these days?  Like people discovered what was most important to them during the pandemic, and they decided that working for a company that didn’t care about them or their well-being just wasn’t worth it.  And my job has really gotten to me –  to the point where I don’t even feel like myself anymore.

I came across this video on TikTok, and it spoke directly to me.  I’m not going to post the video here, but here is what she said:

“this way of living isn’t making me happy at all. people call me tough and capable or someone they can count on, but it’s not the same as them seeing me as loving, kind or joyful. i think that if i wear myself out that happiness will be waiting for me on the other side of all that work. but it’s not.  on the other side of exhaustion is just more work.  i’ve trained a whole group of people that i would never say no: that i will never ask for more time or space, because i’m everyone’s responsible girl.  i’m so depleted that i don’t know what whole feels like.  i wanna say that i’m being used up by work, but it’s also i who am using the work to avoid something. i am using it to avoid becoming acquainted with the self who has sat hidden under all the accomplishments my entire life”

 – @femhomeec on TikTok

  The above sentiment is everything I feel.  The line about feeling so depleted that I don’t know what whole feels like?  That has been this girl lately.  I  so want to be seen as joyful – I feel like that is someone that I am and want to be – I don’t want to be dragged down by work each and every day, and I certainly don’t want to take it out on Sheffield and Bennett.

When as a society did we decide that this “I’m so busy,” lifestyle is ok?  To not have any down time – to constantly be checking work emails, taking work calls and stressing non-stop day and night about what is going to happen yet today, or what is going to happen tomorrow or the next day.  How have we, as a group of people, decided that this is how we want to live?  This cannot be something we unanimously agree on.

I have been trying to figure out what I am going to do – I know that something needs to change, but I’m not sure how to make it change.  Or make that change.  That’s always the scary part, right?  Knowing that something needs to change, but not knowing if you’ll be ok on the other side of that change.

I want that time with my family – Sheffield is only little once.  I am more than sick of being interrupted with work during a weekend where we are doing something together, or having a phone call when we are sitting at the dinner table.  I am more than sick of being the person who volunteers and helps everyone, and then gets none of that in return.  I am tired of putting off doctor’s appointments and not putting my health first.

So, I did something out of my comfort zone (that seems to be the theme of 2021 – one that I’m not mad about), and I crafted an email to my boss outlining what I wanted.  It wasn’t snotty, and it didn’t blame anyone for anything.  I simply outlined my concerns, and what I wanted the end result to be.  My boss responded, and we have an in-person meeting to go over where I am, and what needs to change.  I am hopeful that the larger issues will be resolved – mainly getting that work-life balance back on track.

I have grand plans of finally setting some work boundaries – phone off by dinner time, relinquishing control of an account that I’ve controlled since inception, and not always being the first one to volunteer for extra work or assignments.  I am hoping that I can finally follow through.

This past weekend was glorious – we had zero plans, and we all just spent time together as a family, and it just felt good.  I don’t know another way to put it.

Friday night was just spent vegging out on the couch – B and I made some pizza rolls for dinner after we put Sheff down for bed, and then had a music night.  Didn’t stay up too too late, and were in bed at a reasonable hour.

Saturday, we got up and Sheff and I ran some errands.  We had to find some supplies for his turkey disguise project, and we had to return some things to Target and of course, peruse the Christmas things.  We decided on a ninja disguise for Sheff’s turkey, and it turned out so good.  Gluing feathers?  Not the most fun thing on the planet by the way – but it got done.  We watched the god awful Auburn game and pretty much watched football the rest of the day.  Sheff played on the floor out in the living room all day, and we all just chilled.

Sunday, I was supposed to get up and make pancakes, but decided I really didn’t want to, so we hit up Panera instead.  Sheff inhaled a pumpkin muffin, and the sandwiches B and I had were really good too!  After breakfast, we drove around Bluff Park for a bit – I wanted to check to finally see if the mural up there didn’t have anyone parked in front of it!  Luckily, it didn’t, and I finally got some great pictures of it.

We again just spent the rest of day hanging out watching football – the Packers at least pulled out a win this weekend.  We ordered pizza for the game, and just watched football.  Sheff had tired himself out so much that he actually fell asleep on the couch.  I couldn’t tell you the last time that has happened.  It was so sweet.  B had to carry him off to bed.

Sheff has his first field trip today, and to say he was so excited would be an understatement.  He practically jumped out of bed this morning.  I can’t wait to hear all about it when I pick him up from school today!  Hope you all have a great week!

It’s my Monday since I had yesterday off – I also took a half day Friday, and it was glorious.  I spread throughout work that I did not intend to work this weekend or any of the hours that I had taken off, and with the exception of a few texts from drivers, I didn’t get bothered.  It was amazing to see what a true weekend away can feel like.  I also feel like I’m the only person on the planet that looooves when Daylight Savings ends or begins (I don’t know which it is and am beyond lazy at the moment to even look it up), but I truly love more  light in the morning, and when it gets darker early.  It just seems more cozy – anyway, I digress….

I boarded a plane on Friday afternoon to head to KC to see my dad.  It was a solo trip, as we had ticket to see the Packers play on Sunday.  I wasn’t too thrilled with flying alone for my first plane ride since 2019, but I was a big girl and sucked it up.  I had a four hour long layover in Chicago, so I got a burger and some drinks and around 11pm finally made it to Kansas City.  My dad picked me up, and we had a few night cap vodkas and caught up when I got there.

The next morning, I actually slept until 8!!  That hasn’t happened in I don’t know how long, but it felt nice, and weird.  My dad and I hit up Chick-Fil-A and the liquor store, and then went to the dog park to get a good long walk in.  The AU game was at 230, so we parked it in front of the television for that game, which was a bust.  After the game, we headed over to Blind Box for some BBQ.  Their burnt ends were delicious, as well as the sandwich I got which was thinly sliced steak with Swiss Cheese and a horseradish sauce.  It was everything I could have dreamed of.

To end the night, I fell asleep on the couch.

Sunday, we got up and got ready for tailgating and the football game!  We packed up some brats, some chip and dip, beers, and bloody Mary provisions, and headed to the stadium!  There were so many fans there, it was incredible!  Obviously, it has been a couple years since I’ve gotten to see the Pack play, so it was sooo good to be back where the live sports are.  Unfortunately, the Packers lost (don’t even get me started on the Rodgers nonsense), and the fans were really mean this time, but overall, it was a really good time.

My flight was super early on Monday morning – think out the door of the house at 3:45.  I didn’t get any sleep on the first flight, but did catch the most amazing sunrise on the way to Dallas.  I got home close to noon, and was so excited to not have to log in to work.  I got to get some laundry done, and watch a few episodes of Dawson’s Creek before we went to pick up the Sheffster.

Also, yesterday, we went to get Sheff the vax for Covid.  In between me being forced to be in the office every day (case in point, two people tested positive for Covid in our logistics department over the weekend), and Sheff being around kids all day, we made the decision we thought best.  I know there’s a lot of debate over this, but we feel good with our decision.  There were four other children Sheff’s age getting it as well when we were in there – Sheffield said he didn’t feel a thing, and was so excited to go to school to tell his friends that he got his Covid shot, especially since some of his other classmates had gotten it as well.

For being so brave, we let him pick out what he wanted for dinner (Mexican, of course), and him and B played video games together when we got home.

It was a really good weekend, and was really sad when I had to come back into work this morning.  This weekend should be pretty chill, so looking forward to a lot of down time and maybe starting some Christmas shopping!!

First and foremost – did you all see the BRAVES win the World Series last night?!?  OMG, what a rush.  Definitely stayed up too late watching the game, and watching the post game celebrations, but definitely worth it!  I remember staying up with my dad in 1995 to watch them win it that year- we got to FaceTime last night after as well – good memories!  Let’s go BRAVOS!!!!

I’ve seen this link-up going around the blogosphere and decided to join in!  I’m a huge fan of Amazon for just about anything, so let’s do it!

(linking up with Tanya)

||1. I had been in the market for a new phone cover.  The last one I got was also from Velvet Caviar, and I loved it, but it had just gotten crazily scratched on the back.  Bright pink and I are best friends, so it was a no-brainer on this neon phone case.

||2.  I have started adding yoga back into my workout routine.  I am not the most flexible human being in the world, but these yoga blocks make some of the poses doable.  I had never heard of them until I saw the instructors using them on the Peloton app.  Absolutely love them.

||3.  Sheff needed some baseball socks for fall ball, and the coach wanted them all in Carolina blue.  These were inexpensive, and they’re really great quality, plus they come in a ton of colors so if Sheff joins another team, we’ll be buying that teams colors in these as well.

||4.  I am queen lazy when it comes to my hair.  I will spray this in after my hair is dry, and it gives it really pretty waves.  And it smells amazing, as do all Ouai products.

||5.  Sheff is still masking up at school, but he really prefers the gaiters to the traditional face masks.  He loves these – plus they’re really soft.

||6.  I know make-up wipes aren’t everyone’s favorite, but they work for me.  I continuously rebuy these – they work great.

||7.  Amazon is so hit or miss for me when it comes to clothes, but this sweater came in, and I love it.  It is a lot softer than I was expecting, and was a little oversized, which I was pleasantly surprised with.  It looks so good with a pair of distressed black jeans and black booties.

Some months you can keep your calendar straight – others you can’t.  I think these are the books I read throughout September and October – lots of good and spooky ones!!

 

The Escape Room – Megan Goldin || I loved this book!  I didn’t know that this was her debut novel, but it was such a good one.  Four people trapped in an escape room – in an elevator.  It gave me a tiny panic attack just thinking about being stuck in an elevator (they are not my favorite).  You kind of figure out what’s going on about halfway through the book, but that didn’t take away from it at all.  This would make a great Netflix movie or series – I’d definitely watch.

The Perfect Marriage –  Jeneva Rose || I borrowed this book from a coworker who said he had enjoyed it – and I have to say that I really liked the premise of this book.  The main character’s husband’s mistress is found dead in their lake house, and his wife is the only person who can defend him.  I tried really hard throughout the book to figure it out, but was wrong in the end.  I had some issues with believability, but all-in-all it was a really good idea for a book.

Verity – Colleen Hoover || I know a lot of people said this wasn’t typical of her stuff, but I haven’t read too many of her books.  I really did like this one though!  It’s very suspenseful – I had no idea who was manipulating who, and even at the very end, I still have no idea.  I really really enjoyed it though.

The People We Keep – Allison Larkin || This was the first book for book club that I didn’t get read in time for the actual meeting.  The last month with work has been impossible, and to be honest, I just wanted to sit my butt in front of the TV when I got home, however, I really loved this one.  I loved how it was a book of a young girl finding her people.  It was such a heartbreaking, but heartwarming story.  Definitely gave me all the good feels.

Everything We Didn’t Say – Nicole Baart || This was my October BOTM pick, and it did not disappoint for an October book.  It took me less than 24 hours to get through this, and I just couldn’t wait to get to the end to find out who-dun-it!  If murder and mystery and strange family dynamics are your jam – definitely read this one.

We Were Never Here – Andrea Bartz || OMG THIS BOOOOOK.  It was such a good creepy Halloween pick.  I always love it when you can’t find out who the crazy person in the book is, and it took about to the damn near end of the book to figure out who it was.  A little bit of murder, a little bit of possessive best friends, blackmail – the whole shebang.  Loved loved.

The Power Couple – Alex Berenson || Another really good, suspenseful thriller type read.  I loved all the backstory they did on the husband and wife, and how you really got to see who they are from that.   You don’t get that glimpse until you’re already into the story, so you really start to figure out who the “bad guy” is from those.  The ending was….whoa.  I am digging all these creepy October reads!