Before schools were let out for Thanksgiving, we got emails and texts notifying us that the school system we are in was going back to staggered scheduling. Which means, S is only attending in-person school on Mondays and Thursdays – and he is home with us the other three days. When I say that kid was devastated after hearing that, I mean, he was distraught. He genuinely loves going to school and seeing all of his friends, and he has been doing so well.
I am so worried that we are just not enough for him. I am, by no means, a teacher. Those people are so special and so deserving of more – I could never, ever do it. And I especially can’t do it while I’m working a full-time job. I can only give half of myself to each. And some days, it’s more of an 80/20 split, and it’s a crap shoot on which one is getting the short end of the stick.
And since I’m an obsessive worrier – I also wonder what affect this will have on him. What will he remember from this time? Will he remember every single time I lost my patience with him? Will he remember that I was exasperated with him when he was tracing circles on one of his assignments, and it took him thirty minutes, because he had to have them perfect? Will he remember that he ate so many PB&J’s, that he might as well have just turned into one? Or will he remember dance parties and riding bikes at lunch? Will he remember all the times we drew and colored together – and had pizza and movie nights, because why does that only have to happen on a Friday night?
I can tell which days are hard on him – he’s a little more emotional and a lot more whiney. And I know he can tell which days are hard on me and B. There have been a few times those days have collided, and they’ve been doozies. So many tears and arguments, time-outs and so so much wine drank. There have been a lot of times where I’ve had to remind myself that this is happening to him, too. Not just the adults. He has missed a lot about his first year of school, that he will just not be able to get back.
I know how this whole whiney post sounds – but I am truly grateful that my job allows for me to work from home to be able to be home with Sheffield for home school. I’m grateful that we have the resources at home to be able to help Sheff be successful in his e-learning. I know that this too shall pass, and we’ll all come out better (hopefully) on the other side.